9kg Kettlebell

Firstly good morning, hope you’re good secondly this is a group email so don’t get arsey when I ask what I’m going to ask because I’m asking everyone.   Don’t come into the gym telling me how rude I am. Because one, I do not care and two get a grip on your fragile ego.   A 9kg kettlebell has been taken out of the gym. One of the members has nicked something.   I need to explain something and hope its absolutely crystal clear, when something is taken out of the gym to me its like you’ve stolen from my home. I HATE IT.   It’s not the cost of the item. Its the principle of the act. You have a key code and can come and go as you please so don’t help yourself to the kit in the gym just like I wouldn’t come into your house and help myself to some of your plates because I was having a dinner party. You can always buy more plates you tight b’stard.   So if you’ve taken the 9kg kettlebell return it, because your behaviour is making you look like a twat….   And because I’ve got HD CCTV in the gym.   Cheers   Paul PS. If you haven’t got light fingers this emails not for...

Outdoor Bootcamp Training 10am at White Noise Gym

If you fancy some outdoor training in the mid morning sunshine please come to…   Strongman & Strongwoman Saturday 10am (TOMORROW) at White Noise Gym, Tims Boat Yard TW18 3JY.   Everyone welcome.   Think tyre flips, sled pushes and dragging…. and carrying heavy stuff!*   White Noise Gym is where ordinary people learn to do extraordinary things.   *all weights and exercises are matched to your...

White Noise Training Programme

At White Noise Gym we focus on big compound lift/movements because this is the way to get strong, its proven, its tested, we don’t need to rewrite the rule book. The members at White Noise Gym have been working on their big lifts now on a 9 week cycle this coming month so will be tested on their 1RM’s soon. We then go into another strength cycle which again will last for nine weeks and again they’ll be tested at the end of it. If they stick to the programme they will be stronger and fitter each test session. This takes the gyms programme up to September. If you’d like to try out the facility now is the ideal time to. The following months are pretty much laid out as follows… Monday – Deadlift Tuesday – Strength Upper – Olympic Weightlifting Wednesday – Squatting Thursday – Olympic Weightlifting – Boxing Friday – Conditioning WOD Saturday – Strongman Sunday – Olympic Weightlifting   The strength programme will build strength in three ways. Maximal – Explosive – Endurance. There will be CrossFit conditioning within the strength programme, which will complement the strength element that day. There will more CrossFit Girl WOD’s, more Hero WOD’s and more CrossFit Mainsite WOD’s as well as strength work in % of 1RM.   This is the White Noise Gym programme and it’s coached in groups of a maximum up to eight. If you’s like to give it a try you have one day to sign up for FIVE FREE sessions via this LINK.   Thanks   The White Noise Gym...

Good afternoon you sexy little piggy…

Good afternoon you sexy little piggy,   Yet again the White Noise Gym behemoth grows stronger and its making us all a wee bit frightened. Our latest competition outing saw two teams take to the heady heights of Slough, CrossFit Slough and their competition Enter the Dragon.   The two teams started strong and finished strong, holding first place in some events and leading the competition at the halfway mark.   We finished with an excellent second and sixth position out of twenty five national teams this being with one of our athletes being first time out on the floor at a comp.   If you’d like to join a friendly, welcoming, fantastic little gym with 24/7 open gym, five free sessions to start and the lowest monthly membership prices for a CrossFit Box in London and Greater London send us an email by return and we’ll get you started.   Cheers   White Noise Gym AKA CrossFit Staines Town.   www.whitenoisegym.com www.facebook.com/whitenoisegym...

The Rules…

Good morning lover…   We’re going to change the rules a little bit at the gym which are as follows…   The Eight Person Rule Strictly 8 people per session for the time being  – apart from the 1830 TFI-Friday session which will be open for 12.   Training With Friends Who Aren’t Members If you’re bringing your friends to the open gym who aren’t members they HAVE TO PAY. With no exceptions, its only £5! The old month free promo membership and current five session free card does not entitle them to free open gym. Please also ping me a text or email or message to let me know your bringing a non-member into the gym with their name and email.   Using Open Gym on Free Promo Membership New members on a free promo are more that welcome to use the 24/7 open gym but please let me know you’re going to use it and it’s £5 a go. Please pay cash.   PT-ing In The Gym If you’re a PT and using the gym for your clients the rates are as follows…   If you’re not paying a £35pcm OG Member of WNG it’s £10ph If you are paying a £35pcm OG Membership of WNG it’s £5ph   White Noise Gym Apparel We have a few items left in stock which are now all hanging on the wall above the white boards, as always they’re limited edition and are not being re-run or printed. If you want one or more of the coveted items please let me know and I can sort you out a vest,...

You need more sexy in your life…

Are you lacking a bit of sexy? You haven’t said anything but you are just a bit… I can tell, and so can everyone else x   I myself and currently FULL of sexy…. absolutely exploding with the bloody stuff!?   There’s only one reason I am full of exploding sexy and that is the NEW clothing line of WHITE NOISE GYM and CROSSFIT STAINES apparel which I’ve been sporting.   We have vests, tank tops, fitted t-shirts, triblend t-shirts and sweaters in mens and womens sizes; please come down and see if you like anything before they’ve all gone. There’s a few on the wall and loads more upstairs in the office.   T’s and V’s are £20 and sweaters are £30.   Please bring cash to pay for the sexy goods.   See you soon,   Paul   07462...