Why is White Noise Gym so bloody good?

Your reading this, it’s Monday morning probably or it’s late Sunday night and you should be in bed but like me but you’re not because like me your awake so I’ve decided to write this fxxxxxg email.

I may sound miserable, it’s because I am. So I tried to write a list of why White Noise Gym is better than your gym or CrossFit Box or Dojo or wherever you like to hang out to get your kicks to cheer me up, and it’s actually working. So with the dog crying in the back ground because for the thousandth time when he’s been out for a walk he’s run into stinging nettles and he cannot handle the pain I’ve given you the why White Noise is better Top 10…

1. We do Crossfit, Strongman, Olympic Weightlifting & Yoga

2. You get a whole FREE month to try out as many things as you like before you decide if you want to join

3. We a have national level star studded coaching team…. for the olympic weightlifting sessions x

4. Our monthly membership is cheaper than all local CrossFit Boxes even though it really shouldn’t be

5. IF we’re not cheaper than your current CrossFit Box we’ll discount you membership so if you join White Noise Gym it will be lighter on your pocket

6. We have a sports massage therapist in Staines who loves us who can massage your aches and pains away

7. We have in-house nutritional experts who can mange all of your nutrition for any goal

8. We have an onsite natural swimming ‘pool’ that’s 50m in width that we use for summertime training and chilling out in, oh yes we do

9. We are one of the best equipped gyms in the area

10. And number ten is actually two suggestions from members that I didn’t ask for but you’re going to get anyway… we’ve got the best Hotties & Banging Reggae Music.

If you don’t fancy coming down after reading that top ten I really don’t know what’s wrong with you. Sooooo let me know when you want to join and the weekly CrossFit timetable is as follows…

Monday to Friday
6am to 7am
7am to 8am
9:30 to 10:30 Tuesday & Thursday – CrossFit Girls
6pm to 7pm*
7pm to 8pm*

Saturday CrossFit Strongman
10am to 11am

*Wednesday night is pure Olympic Weightlifting and is coached by Kristian McPhee U77 British Champion

For monthly paying members we also have open gym that can be accessed outside of all session times for your own training.

Monthly Class & Open Gym Membership
1 x class a week plus access to White Noise Open Gym £55
2 x class a week plus access to White Noise Open Gym £65
3 x class a week plus access to White Noise Open Gym £75
Unlimited classes plus access to White Noise Open Gym £95

Class Only Membership
10 x classes £70
5 x classes £40

Olympic Weightlifting Class Only Membership
10 x classes £50

10 x classes £50

Private Yoga Sessions
Monday 09:30am
Wednesday 20:00
Saturday 09:00.

You pay for yoga classes separately directly to the instructor
Drop in £10
10 x classes £70
5 x classes £40


Paul Elliott-Smith
The White Noise Gym