Speaking of Good…

It’s been good down and the gym this week. Speaking of good…

CrossFit Rob has made his mark on the group this week. I have heard tales of blubbing and funny walking when leaving the gym, which come to think of it was probably happening before we even started using the warehouse for CrossFit group training considering the amount of dominatrix type behaviour that was going on down there in the not so distant past. Thinking of body fluids….

I had been struck down at the end of this week by a flu virus that could of lay waste to a heard of elephants; I kid you not. But over the weekend this has gradually been destroyed by my immune system and then eliminated by my digestive system as solid waste. ‘Put that in your pipe and smoke it’ I thought as I flushed the last remnants of the virus down into the sewer, where it belongs. Speaking of bowl movements….

A certain lovely lady in the gym has been showing off here ‘compacted’ tum-tum on Instagram this week which actually looked like she was four months pregnant it was so full. We all could breathe a collective sigh of relief when she announced she had given birth to ‘problem’. I was personally relieved that we didn’t need to do the group intervention and start off the process by giving her a bit of ‘leverage’ with the ‘back knobber’ as we had discussed only hours earlier. Speaking of the back knobbler…

Body Maintenance

We have some new bits of kit in the gym. The back knobber, a rather fiendish and terrifying looking instrument with various protrusions and ‘knobs’ on it that can help troublesome knots and lumps on the back with some self massage manipulation. A rumble roller has also rumbled in and can be laid on, rolled on, wiggled around on, to relieve and tight muscles. There is also other bits and bobs in the gym that you should be using for body maintenance, like foam rollers, lacrosse ball, an orb and the coloured bands for stretching. We will start introducing these as part of you’re warm ups in the next few weeks.

Your kit bag

I know Rich like a nice floral towel, and why shouldn’t he? We all need a little towel intervention now and again. Good things to bring to the gym would be…

1. Bottle of water
2. Towel
3. Skipping rope
4. Your own roller – I can’t wait to see Ana’s. Online it’s hard to gauge size… When Ana’s foam roller arrived from Amazon it was actually 6ft long with a 2ft diameter. We’re going to need to get it delivered by an articulated lorry.
5. Money that you need to give to me if you’ve done a session, on the day or one you’ve done previously.

Paleo Training Bible

We have started putting together a diet and exercise plan that we are going to use in the gym and market on-line, we are guinea-pigs at the moment and this weeks results will fed to you like healthy nuggets of food this coming weekend.

Booking for sessions online

Can we ALL try to book online for this weeks sessions. It would make me so happy to see you all using it. So happy.

Obstacle Course Race

One month, the team are back in action we need you to join us. Come on you sexy bastards tell me you want to! 2nd November £35 6k


Please contact me to book in PT this week. The earlier you book the more chance of getting the slot you require. All ‘PT blocks’ purchased between January 2014 and October 2014 will not roll over to 2015 and beyond, lets get the PT in.

Team White Noise

We’re going to put together a team for CrossFit events in 2015. I know what a ramshackle group of waifs, strays and reprobates this group will be. But with the best team spirt in history? Probably.

The weeks ‘nanigans


6am to 6pm Gym Open
6pm to 7pm CrossFit Start
7pm to 8pm CrossFit


6am to 6pm Gym Open
10am to 11pm WOW CrossFit
7pm to 8pm CrossFit


6am to 6pm Gym Open
10am to 11am AWBS CrossFit
7pm to 8pm CrossFit


6am to 6pm Gym Open
10am to 11pm WOW CrossFit
7pm to 8pm CrossFit


6am to 6pm Gym Open
6pm to 7pm CrossFit


8am to 4pm Gym Open


Strongman Sunday 10am to 11am

If you need to talk to me about joining the gym get in touch. If you need a membership plan that accommodates your shifts at work or your salary, let me know. We might be able to sort you something that will work for both of us.


Paul Elliott-Smith
The White Noise Gym
The first real gym in Staines.