Smiling new faces

Well done for last week you supreme beauties,

This weeks highlights have been…

  • Smiling new faces in the gym
  • Amazing MetCon efforts
  • New strength PB’s
  • Epic sweat angles (including one where the bum cheek print looked like a massive bell-end and the persons body print looked like a fat shaft. It actually looked like a giant with dwarfism has squashed his sweaty dumpy cock onto the rubber mats. I would of taken a picture but in the heat the mystical phaullus quickly vaporised and we all unknowingly breathed it in)
  • Severe unadulterated swearing

With the five highlights above setting the tone I’ll move on to this weeks interesting titbits….

Online Booking

Please try to book in online to secure you places on this weeks sessions.

FREE Personal Training 1:1

Buy five sessions for £150 and get another five absolutely FREE

FREE Personal Training 2:1

If you don’t fancy doing 1:1 PT then why don’t you book with a friend. I’m offering ten sessions for £200 if you book with a friend, that’s only £100 each. WTF?!

FREE Group Sessions for one month.

If you want to start group sessions but not sure when you’re actually going to do it. Start now and get the first month of sessions absolutely FREE of all charges. All CrossFit, Olympic Lifting & Strongman sessions are included.

Monthly Gym Membership from £30

  • Cheap to join
  • Best selection of free weight kit in the area
  • Deals for PT’s to use the facility to train clients
  • Cheapest CrossFit sessions in the area
  • Best coaches in the area
  • FREE bottled mineral water

Team Spartan 5k Obstacal Race

We are taking part in a 5k obstacle race on Saturday 30th August. So far we have a team of ten taking part but we’re looking for more people to join in. If you would like to give it a go let me know at the gym in person or via email. We’re not actually racing, an old friend of mine once said, “Race to complete, don’t race to compete.”



Paul Elliott-Smith
The White Noise Gym
The first real gym in Staines.