Short & Sweet…. Probably

Hello and welcome to the weekly-ish newsletter,

I am going to keep this email short and sweet which usually means that it ends up being quite long and in-depth.

This week was another good week at the gym or White Noise CrossFit Staines as some of you like to call it in full when we’re conversing, you cheeky full name monkeys.

This week saw Paul, all round exercise guru and nice guy return to the gym for more diabolical scheming of an exercise nature. It saw Hannah depart, our Yoga teacher, our CrossFit aficionado and serial lifter of the 60kg atlas stones…

“Why!” I howled when I found out, “Why must you leave us!!!”

“There’s just too much going on in my life to fit in the sessions Pauly Bae” she replied

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!……….” I whispered.

With that she turned and walked out of our lives. Reflecting back on the conversation perhaps if I’d just said the long drawn out ‘No’ louder she may of stayed, we’ll never know.

But with Hannah departing this has seen the introduction of Rob a new CrossFit coach of such high calibre that it makes me excited just typing these words into the keyboard on how fantastic this development to the gym actually is. Welcome Rob!!

Change of session times (mainly for Al who has had a session time nightmare this week)

Weekly we now have…

6pm CrossFit Start
7pm CrossFit

10am WOW CrossFit
7pm CrossFit

7pm CrossFit

10am WOW CrossFit
7pm CrossFit
8:30pm Olympic Weight Lifting

6pm TFI Friday CrossFit

10am CrossFit Strongman Sunday

I am looking to introduce more CrossFit sessions on the following times 06:30am, 10am, 6pm, 7pm, 8pm.

The Whey Protein Peanut Butter Winner

Well done this week to Debbie our friend from across the pond who won, literally by just turning up early a whole jar of Peanut Butter Whey Protein. Don’t eat it all at once!

Female Dwarfs

I having a real problem hiring any female dwarfs for our up and coming gym promo. If anyone knows of a bikini wearing dwarf quartet let me know.

Paleo Training Bible

Myself and Nikki P have started working on the ‘Paleo Training Bible’ which will be a 40 day and 60 day weight loss and exercise programme for anyone who needs to lose weigh and look amazing. I’m starting it this week as a test and I’ll let you know next week what happened during my first week.

Personal Training

If you wish to book in personal training sessions this week can you email me ASAP.


Paul Elliott-Smith
The White Noise Gym
The first real gym in Staines.