Fat Gut & Massive Arse

It’s the 22nd January already. How’s 2014 been? That resolution you made to go training more, yeah that one that you’ve been trying to forget about; how’s that one going?

How’s that fat gut and that massive arse you were sporting in 2013? You going to grow it this year? How’s that tricep under hang, lift up your arm… Is it bingo time yet, has RedBull given you wings?

Well if it has, spread those wings and fly my bulbous beauty, fly down to the gym. Put on those old trainers, pull on your lycra training suit, put on your leg warmers, grow a mullet and perm your hair real tight cause yes, it’s exercise time in Chertsey town and we are going to exercise like it’s 1984. I am your Mr Motivator (okay not quite 1980’s), I am your Richard Simmonds, I am your Green Goddess. I come to you now in my special leotard, extraordinarily camp and with knee high bright pink CrossFit socks that denote the depth of my squats for the joyous weekly updates…

Reviews on Facebook

I know I have asked this before and I don’t want to piss you off as I know the request is slightly annoying but can you leave reviews or stars on the Paleo Training Bible Facebook page if you think I deserve them. Both would be great but just stars are fine. If you want to leave one star because you hated what I’m doing so much can let me know how you feel and why, otherwise I can’t change things. I need to know the good and the bad please. Reviews and likes on the FB page increase traffic and allow me to access the analytics behind the scenes, so it’s really helpful to me if you do this.

Personal Training Deal

Ten sessions for £150. Amazing isn’t it, YES! Astounding isn’t it, YES! Makes me answer my own questions in emails doesn’t it YES, YES, YES!

Weekly Round-Up

Last week for the gym was a good one, plenty of faces, new and old through the doors for group and PT sessions. I particularly enjoyed the Women’s WOD session on Thursday with the magnificent handstands and tales of Jo’s crippling DOMS in the subsequent days, I enjoyed the happiness I could see on the faces of the TFI Friday sessions athletes at the BIZ Runnymede and I enjoyed the Strongman Sunday Barbell Club where we had a good turn out and some excellent PB’s on the three big lifts we pushed ourselves on. Well done all it was a great week.

Payment Cards

From the 1st February the prices are going up for single group sessions. I will run a card scheme so you can buy sessions at the current price £5 and that is as follows…

Ten sessions £50 (£5 per session)
Five sessions £30 (£6 per session)
One session £7 (£7 per session)

CrossFit Chertsey Update

The CrossFit affiliation should be signed sealed and delivered by February and the gym will be based in Chertsey. This will start at the BIZ Runnymede and depending on how things progress and change this year I may have to seek an alternate venue.

Training in Bracknell

The Bracknell project has stopped before it got started. Unfortunately it wasn’t going to work for a few different reasons which is disappointing but for the best. It was nice to meet the owner of the gym Steve who is a very genuine and nice guy, not full of grandiose promises and bullshit like other people in the ‘fitness industry’ I have had the misfortune of spending time with.

Women’s Only CrossTraining Thursday 10am £5

This Thursday we have a WOD and a challenge to see how fit you exercise chicks really are. Who deserves the crown? Who should own the fine china? Who should be dripping in pearls? Who should be the sole bearer of the fertilised eggs?

Olympic Lifting 7:30pm £10

Sam Balchin general olympic weightlifting goddess and all round good egg instructs us in the art of olympic lifting. She does it so well, that’s why she always wears that English bronze medal of hers around the gym.

TFI Friday CrossTraining 5pm £5

This Friday we will do something so mega, so super-duper, pooper-scooper, slap my thigh and call me rupert; even I a big strong fearless man am feeling the fear and the butterflies in the tum-tum in nervous anticipation of how radical this session may turn out. And yes I did just use the word ‘radical’. I am of course your very own Richard Simmonds. Isn’t Simmonds Al’s surname…haha! There is definitely a resemblance.

Strongman Sunday 10am £5

Just as Hercules tossed the discus over the rock in the sea in the first olympic games in Greece to cheers we will toss Atlas Stones in the Strongman Sunday version of Grace. Yes that’s right folks, thirty clean and presses with any Atlas Stone of your choice for time. This WOD promises to be make a Hercules of everyone of us and may god strike us down if we do not cheer our way through this brutal workout.

Women’s WOD Monday 10am £5

In this sessions we will work on skills and technique rather than hammer out a particular workout. This session is more relaxed and exploratory as we delve into the parts of exercising we haven’t really done or could do better at. This could well be known as ‘miracle mondays’ as we progress through from novice to expert. Expect great things.


Paul Elliott-Smith
CrossFit Kids Trainer
CrossFit Level 1 Trainer
CrossFit Strongman Trainer
Advanced LVL3 Personal Trainer