Hello Special Pants

Have you missed me? I’ve been off for the last week crying and sleeping and trying to pretend I’m on holiday, in the rain, in my own house, with my five children, and their numerous greedy friends with a broken dishwasher. Believe me when I say it’s going to be good to get back, because… I fucking mean it. Now I’m restructuring slightly and this will probably take the rest of September to implement but we will have the following developments… CrossFit on five nights a week Monday to Friday. CrossFit starting early mornings. CrossFit Kids Saturday morning. Yoga & CrossFit Strongman Sunday morning. More coaches for your training enjoyment Specific conditioning sessions which will include more running A White Noise CrossFit Team to go to CrossFit comps and support to individuals who wish to do this I’ll keep you unto date with the new schedule as it’s put together and email you out at the weekend. Personal Training Email me to book in PT please   Regards Paul Elliott-Smith The White Noise Gym The first real gym in...

…lately I’ve been quite enjoying it

Hello, I’m here again lurking in your inbox, and I must say lately I’ve been quite enjoying it. This week was quite a good week in the gym, some good sessions were nailed. There was a severe amount of muscle flexing, eye boggling in fact. I did find myself saying quite a bit, “Ohhhhh, those biceps make my eyes water, and don’t get me started on your triceps; absolutely magnificent”, to anybody that would listen. I did a lot of training just in my Speedo’s to feel like those body builders on the interwebs. It did start to catch on in the end, with more people coming in bronzed and in skimpy swimming costumes. CrossFit FREE Trial This week is the last week to let me know if you want to try the group sessions FREE for a month. Personal Training PT is full now, I can’t take any more people on. I would be interested to hear from you if you would like to boo in sessions in the future, still drop my an email. PT This Week If you are an existing client and you want PT this week then can you contact me asap to get it booked in.   Monday 6am to 9pm gym open for PT or exercising. 6pm to 7pm CrossFit Back- a session that’s CrossFit as hell. I’ll be taking it, obviously.   Tuesday 6am to 9pm gym open for PT, and exercising. 10am WOW CrossFit 6:30pm 7:30pm CrossFit Start 7:30pm 8:30pm CrossFit   Wednesday 6am to 9pm gym open for PT and training.   Thursday 6am to 9pm gym open for...

Gooooood evening beauty face

Another week down, muscles looking good and nice to see Christmas adverts appearing on TV. We’re all heading to oblivion folks albeit a rather ripped and muscly one, lets head there together. Personal Training The PT week is crammed full, there is some afternoon space and evening space but at the present time mornings are tight. If you haven’t booked in this week’s PT can you email me asap so we can get it in please. If you want to take advantage of the 10xPT sessions for £150 please email me to book them in. CrossFit Offer CrossFit is going well at the gym, so well in fact there’s two more sessions on this week on Monday 6pm and Tuesday 6:30pm. The CrossFit offer, probably the best CrossFit offer ever is still running, newbies get one month FREE and are under no obligation to continue after the months free session have come to an end. The coming week looks like this… Monday 6am to 9pm gym open for PT, ravin or exercising. 6pm to 7pm CrossFit sexy time – a session that’s basically just for all the sexy people. I’ll be taking it, obviously.   Tuesday 6am to 9pm gym open for PT, and exercising of all shapes and sizes. 10am WOW CrossFit is NOT on this Tuesday 6:30pm 7:30pm CrossFit 7:30pm 8:30pm CrossFit Beast – a session for all the beasts. I’ll be taking it obviously.   Wednesday 6am to 9pm gym open for PT and training.   Thursday 6am to 9pm gym open for PT and training. 10am to 11am WOW CrossFit – Just for chicks. I’ll...

Gym is haunted…

A look back at this week… Well done everybody for an epic week of fitness at the White Noise Gym in Staines. White Noise CrossFit Staines membership rapidly grows in numbers. I did a five day vegetable & fruit juice detox (yes folks no solid food for five days) which almost had me crying not once, but twice. Personal Training is bursting at the seams, but I’m going too throw you a curveball… I think the gym is haunted…. …. but I won’t go into right it now. Let us ponder the week ahead Monday 6am to 9pm Gym Open for PT and general gym adventures   Tuesday 6am to 9pm Gym Open for PT and general gym misadventures 10am WOW CrossFit – Women Only 7:30pm CrossFit NEW SESSION 8:30pm CrossFit Start   Wednesday 6am to 9pm Gym Open for PT and general gym shenanigans   Thursday 6am to 9pm Gym Open for PT and general gym entertainments 10am WOW CrossFit – Women Only 7:30pm CrossFit Start 8:30pm Olympic Weight Lifting   Friday 6am to last entry at 7pm Gym Open for PT and general gym escapades 5:30pm TFI Friday CrossFit   Saturday 6am to last entry at 4pm Gym Open for PT and general gym adventures   Sunday 8:45am Vinyasa Flow Yoga 10:15am Strongman Sunday   DEALS FREE CrossFit for one month FREE Personal Training   Regards Paul Elliott-Smith The White Noise Gym The first real gym in...

Smiling new faces

Well done for last week you supreme beauties, This weeks highlights have been… Smiling new faces in the gym Amazing MetCon efforts New strength PB’s Epic sweat angles (including one where the bum cheek print looked like a massive bell-end and the persons body print looked like a fat shaft. It actually looked like a giant with dwarfism has squashed his sweaty dumpy cock onto the rubber mats. I would of taken a picture but in the heat the mystical phaullus quickly vaporised and we all unknowingly breathed it in) Severe unadulterated swearing With the five highlights above setting the tone I’ll move on to this weeks interesting titbits…. Online Booking Please try to book in online to secure you places on this weeks sessions. FREE Personal Training 1:1 Buy five sessions for £150 and get another five absolutely FREE FREE Personal Training 2:1 If you don’t fancy doing 1:1 PT then why don’t you book with a friend. I’m offering ten sessions for £200 if you book with a friend, that’s only £100 each. WTF?! FREE Group Sessions for one month. If you want to start group sessions but not sure when you’re actually going to do it. Start now and get the first month of sessions absolutely FREE of all charges. All CrossFit, Olympic Lifting & Strongman sessions are included. Monthly Gym Membership from £30 Cheap to join Best selection of free weight kit in the area Deals for PT’s to use the facility to train clients Cheapest CrossFit sessions in the area Best coaches in the area FREE bottled mineral water Team Spartan 5k Obstacal Race...