When I was a nipper…

When I was a nipper I used to climb onto the roof of my dad’s escort van and jump the ditch that ran along the single lane dirt track road than ran parallel with our row of houses. I thought I was brave as the ditch was filled with high stinging nettles; thick with stinging nettles, ones taller than my little self. I used to do this in just my red pants, just like Tarzan would wear. I also used to scream the Tarzan scream, the one he used to scream when he swung though the trees. One day I fucked up, misjudged the jump from the roof of my dad’s van and jumped into the ditch filled with stinging nettles just in my pants and stung myself to bits, screaming, trying to crawl out, pain everywhere. I did go back to the roof of the van but the buzz had gone, the fall had ruined it for me. I had let the one set back put me off, I had stopped believing the fantasy and the jumping wasn’t fun anymore. The thing is now I look back and think If I hadn’t stopped believing, if I had searched newer and higher places to jump from I wouldn’t be just sitting here typing this. I’d be in some jungle somewhere swinging through some trees, I’d be the bonafide fucking Tarzan. This week the gym’s timetable looks a little like this…   Monday 6am to 9pm Open Gym & PT   Tuesday 6am to 7:30pm Open Gym & PT 7:30pm to 8:30pm CrossFit   Wednesday 6am to 9pm Open Gym...

Hilarity Slacking

I’ve been a little slack recently on my hilarious updates and I know, it’s not fair is it, I’ve neglected you. And you’re special, we’re all special in our own unique way. There are some great things happening at the moment which should see you with access to a quality gym and some fantastic training at a very reasonable price. The main changes to the schedule will be dedicated gym access evenings when before we’ve had group. I’m also expanding the times the groups will run so we will eventually have multiple group sessions daily as the client base builds but also gym access to people who don’t necessarily want group sessions but still love a good free weight gym. Gym membership This is the first time a box with CrossFit affiliation has run a gym only membership and is an exciting development. We now have dedicated open gym access to the facility for £35pcm on the following times. Monday – 6am to 9pm Tuesday* – 6am to 7pm Wednesday – 6am to 9pm Thursday* – 6am to 7pm Friday – 6am to 6pm Saturday – 7am to 4pm Sunday – Closed   *Tuesday & Thursday no access between 10am and 11am (women only)   CrossFit, Strongman & Olympic Weight Lifting Timetable. Dedicated CrossFit group session evenings with memberships starting as little as £35pcm are as follows Tuesday Thursday Friday Sunday On the above days we will be running multiple sessions every evening to satisfy demand.   Facility Now Available for Hire to PT’s The facility is also being opened up for personal trainers in the area. If you...

!!! Overview of English Football & Other Updates !!!

Firstly before we start can I just thank the England Football Team for delivering a once in a lifetimes performance last night. It really was spellbinding. I could liken it to a spell that hopefully burn out my retinas and render me deaf and dumb so I didn’t have to watch another two halves of that utter crap for as long as we both shall live. I’ve been married, by birth, to a football team who constantly fail to deliver on every level and who’s players combined yearly salary could save Sudan. Why people? Why do you watch football? I’m sorry to break you the bad news but, it’s utter nonsense. I dislike football as you might of gathered but I have watched two halves of the world cup. The first half of their (our?!) first game and the second half of the game just gone. First game I fell asleep it was so exciting and yesterdays game I wished that I was asleep. Well done Rooney for your first goal, you fucking over paid potato and well done for the totally despondent interviews afterwards. The realisation that a nation had wasted a total of £1 each on on English flags we’d now have to keep flying proudly on our wing mirrors for the duration of the tournament weighing heavy of everyones shoulders. On another note I’ve opened a new gym in Staines. You can decide if you win or lose by how many times you turn up. It really is the bollocks, honestly. Come down and train, this week I’m going to send you some fantastic offers to...

Good Morning

Good morning, The sun is shining and the grass is green. The children are playing and licking ice cream. If you would like PT for this week can you email me to confirm times and days please.   Have a nice day, Paul Elliott-Smith The White Noise Gym Gym – CrossFit – Personal Training – Strongman – CrossFit...

12062014 WOD

CrossFit Start Skill Overhead Squats Pull Ups – Kipping / Strict WOD1 Baby Angie AMRAP 10mins 10 Pull-Ups 10 Press-Ups 10 Sit-Ups 10 Squats WOD2 Five Rounds of..,. White Noise Nancy 400m bike/ski/row Overhead squat 40kg (scale as req) x...