!!Happy New Year!!

Welcome to Wednesday 2014. Funny day to start a new year on really, would have been much better on a Monday. Now, you’ll probably be reading this email in one of two states. I’m not talking directly to our international holidaying or american friends here I’m talking more about ‘state of mind’. You may of had the self-control, the reserve, or been festively saintly, not letting your world crumple into a pile of festive nonsense this Xmas. You may not have spent all your money and more on christmas presents, crying into your third bottle of Bailey’s and buried your face into tray after tray of buttery mince pies. You may of kept training; running, lifting weights or you may of forgot any of that ridiculous training stuff happened back in 2013. I mean what the f*ck were we all doing? Jumping, he made us jump, up high, until we smashed our shins in… Really?! It’s all so far way now anyway, it’s a distant memory and I feel like a different person…. But that’s it isn’t it, you feel like a different person too. There’s so much more of you to hold now, so much more to love. Folds of fleshy skin drape down over the top of your jeans like meaty bedroom curtains. Some of you, the ones we shall not name will not be able to fit into your 2013 jeans opting instead for new tracksuit bottoms that you had to walk to Tesco’s in Addlestone half naked to buy. Hiding embarrassed and in shame behind holly bushes and bunches of berryless, discarded mistletoe, as you...